Most of the time, when I reference “Jesusistan” I am referencing American politicians, mainly in the South, who claim that their “values” are superior to anyone else’s. Quite often, they openly advocate the setting up of a theorcracy based on a Jesusistani version of Sharia law. But it should be kept in mind that (1.) the Jesusistanis constantly trying to force their radical version of “Christianity” on us (which features things like stoning gays, execution for women who have abortions, the denial of contraceptives to the population, warmongering, and worship of the rich in addition to their supposed moral superiority) are almost always hypocrites who basically live about 180 degrees from the life they wish to force on all of us, and (2.) Jesusistan has no borders-it’s a mindset. The Jesusistanis can be found the world over, and they all tend to be cut from the same hypocritical cloth.

It just so happens that as I was perusing the internets for news today, I learned about a political party in Northern Ireland called the Democratic Unionists. It wasn’t that I’ve never heard of them, but I didn’t really know much about them. What I learned is that the Unionists in Ulster look a lot like our own Jesusistani Rushpubliscums;they are always spewing that hateful old-time religion.

Let me show you an example of what I’m talking about.

Iris Robinson has walked into her biggest controversy yet after stating in Parliament that homosexuality is “viler” than child sex abuse, the Belfast Telegraph can reveal today.

The First Minister’s wife made the controversial comments in the House of Commons in front of Policing and Justice Minister Paul Goggins and a committee of UK MPs during a debate on the assessment and management of sex offenders.

Speaking about community concerns over sex offenders Mrs Robinson then stated: “There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children.”

Her comments have not been omitted from a written transcript of the debate which has been published on the Parliament website.

When contacted by the Belfast Telegraph Mrs Robinson said she stood by her views and stated that homosexuality was “comparable” to child sex abuse.

“Let’s look at it. Can you think of anything more vile than man and man or woman and woman and sexually abusing children? What I say I base on biblical pronouncements, based on God’s word. I am amazed that people are surprised when I quote from scriptures. It shows the churches either aren’t preaching God’s word or are watering it down,” she said.

Mrs Robinson added: “I cannot think of anything more sickening than a child being abused. It is comparable to the act of homosexuality. I think they are all comparable. I feel totally repulsed by both.”

Yes, the good Mrs. Robinson is a pious believer in the word of the Lord (with those stupid passages about loving your neighbor and judge ye not omitted, of course.)

As it happens, I know a little about Biblical Scriptures myself. In the Book of Exodus (Old Testament, which is what most Jesusistanis turn to to justify their vile hatreds) exists the Ten Commandments. Jesusistanis all over the world have screeched forever that we need to live our lives by the Ten Commandments. They are so in love with the “Big Ten” that they want to post them in every Government office and living room on Earth.

You probably know the Ten Commandments, but just in case you don’t, I’m going to post them here for you.

“And God spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the LORD your God…

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.’

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.’

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.’

FOUR: ‘Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.’

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother.’

SIX: ‘You shall not murder.’

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit adultery.’

EIGHT: ‘You shall not steal.’

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.’

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.’

You’ll note that I highlighted that seventh one. That’s the one I want to talk about.

See, I’m a little confused here. Iris Robinson says that she knows that gay people who do no one any harm and simply try to live their own lives their own way are worse then child molesters. She claims to know this because her Scriptures inform her of it.

I have to say that I don’t believe her.

Iris Robinson couldn’t possibly know her Scriptures that well, because she doesn’t even know what the Ten Commandments are.

She’s proven that.

The wife of Northern Ireland’s most senior politician last night sensationally revealed that she had attempted to take her life while depressed after having an affair.

Iris Robinson, who is a Westminster MP as well as a member of the Belfast Assembly, said in a statement that she had acted “in a manner which was self-destructive and out of character” during severe bouts of depression.

Her husband, Peter Robinson, who as First Minister heads Belfast’s powersharing government, made an anguished appearance on television to outline the events that have been the subject of rumour and speculation for weeks.

He said: “You will appreciate how devastated I have been. This has been the most difficult period of my life and I have been deeply hurt by what has happened. I feel the pain of it every day.”

He maintained that he would not resign, and would be back at his post this morning to meet the deputy First Minister, Sinn Fein’s Martin McGuinness.

In a statement his wife said: “I lost control of my life and did the worst thing that I have ever done. Over a year and a half ago, I was involved in a relationship. It began completely innocently when I gave support to someone following a family death.

“I encouraged friends to assist him by providing financial support for a business venture. Regrettably, the relationship later developed into a brief affair. It had no emotional or lasting meaning but my actions have devastated my life and the lives of those around me.”

The First Minister said his knowledge of his wife’s “inappropriate relationship” came at midnight on 1 March last year, when she tried to take her own life. Mr Robinson, who can be robust in public but is often reserved personally, spoke of his reaction to the suicide attempt. “My immediate impulse was to walk away from my marriage,” he said. “I felt betrayed after almost 40 years of being happily and closely bonded together. The circumstances I face, however, caused me to take a different course.”

Mr Robinson denied that anything was out of order with the financial dealings. The Robinsons have been referred to as Northern Ireland’s first political family, as a number of their children work for them.

Are we surprised in the least? Of course we aren’t; we all know by now that the more pious they are, the more rotten they are. I’d have expected no less that adultery from a hatemongering Jesusistani like Iris Robinson. And I doubt seriously that this is her only affair; we know all too well that Jesusistanis only admit to things when there is simply no way to deny them. A Jesusistani has to be visibly outed for each and every transgression, or they won’t admit to them.

When I meet someone spewing that good old-time religion, I figure I’ve met rotten scum, and “fundie” religion has yet to surprise me.

It’s like I said. The Jesusistanis are the same, the world over.

UPDATE: I just HAD to add this little Iris gem.

She has even denounced Hillary Clinton for accepting her husband’s infidelities, saying: “No woman would put up with what she tolerated from her husband when he was President.

And to ice the cake, it appears to have been a teenage boy she was “praising Jesus” with. My goodness, what a Godly one this is…

Tags: adultery, homophobia, hypocrisy, iris robinson, northern ireland, religion

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 7th, 2010 at 7:22 pm and is filed under Jesusistan, Jolly Roger. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.