‘Twas the Night Before Satan
Thanks to my friend George Goodman, we now have a new holiday poem to read to the wee ones down through the ages 
“They’re taking down Christmas! Sweet Jesus, it’s war!”
And screaming and ranting and baring their claws
Came the mouth-breathing righties who’d take up this cause.
On Coulter! On Limbaugh! O’Reilly and Hannity!
On Dobson! On Malkin! Embrace the insanity!
They crawled before camer…as and went on the air
And yelled at whoever they thought they could scare.
“It’s damn near satanic,” they wailed, “Don’t you see?
If you say ‘season’s greetings’ then that affects me
In a million bad ways… just how, I can’t tell
But trust me, these heathens are going to hell.”
And with boycotts and insults and outrage and fear
The meaning of Christmas became crystal clear;
By wishing our friends well in ways that might please us
We’re slowly and surely destroying their Jesus.
(That means you, too, Christians! You’re not off scott-free.
If you say “season’s greetings,” you’re guilty as me.)
Tags: the night before satan
