If you don’t think that there’s a sucker born every minute, just look at what famous sucker Ted Haggard is managing to pull.

Yep. The golden boy of right wing homophobia (and notable closet homo) is reeling them in again, in spite of his outing as a liar, hypocrite, fraud, and doper.

His present crowds won’t buy him a whole lot of meth or rent boys, but as you can see, he’s working on that. He ought to be able to afford his indulgences once again in no time at all.

Ted Haggard climbed onto a bale of hay, Bible balanced in his palm.

“Welcome to my barn,” he called out.

“Does anybody need a blanket?” his wife, Gayle, inquired as men and women in down coats shivered in the frigid November air. Some huddled underneath a space heater.

Then the blue-jeans-clad preacher began chanting: “God is good, God is good, God is good.”

This musty barn next to the Haggard home is barely two miles — but a universe away — from the massive stage the former evangelical star once occupied at New Life Church. There, he would appear every Sunday before microphones, giant television screens and a congregation so large that services had to be held in shifts.

But in late 2006 came what Haggard, now 53, refers to as “the crisis,” the revelation that he’d had a sexual relationship with a male escort. Haggard resigned from the church he had started in his basement 25 years ago and left Colorado Springs.

Now he’s back and, some speculate, launching his second act.

Last month, Haggard — who declined to be interviewed — opened his home for a prayer meeting. He expected a dozen people. More than 100 came, and the Haggards moved the furniture out of the living room to make space.

A week later, he swept out his barn and rented 75 chairs. When they were filled, people stood against the back walls.

Many were former or current members of his old church who called him Pastor Ted. They said they had missed him, that he was born to preach — not to sell insurance as he had when he first returned here. They said they had forgiven what they and Haggard regarded as his sins.

“I love a good redemption story,” said Elly Kraai, a former New Life member. “I’m seeing one playing out here.”

That’s funny. I see a respectable-sized shuck and jive being played out here.

I wonder how long it’ll be before Ted is back to demanding that we punish them godless fags?

Tags: homophobia, hypocrisy, lies, religion, ted haggard

This entry was posted on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 2:48 pm and is filed under Jesusistan, Jolly Roger. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.