The Rushpubliscum Party is the biggest victim culture on Earth today.

No matter what goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. Tanked economy? Clinton, with the help of Jimmy Carter, somehow set the groundwork for it to all explode in Chimpy’s face. And then Obama locked those Carter/Clinton policies in place. Corruption? All caused by Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, and Ted Kennedy. Gun violence? All that librul-inspired violence in the TEEVEE and the movies. Etc. etc., lather, rinse, repeat.

Mama Grifter, of course, took victimhood to a new level, blaming everyone from her Wasilla neighbors to David Letterman for her rapid demise in the political arena. Mama Grifter’s protege, Sister Christine O’Donnell, of the Klanbagger Koven, tried her luck on the cross, but she was so pathetic that she got barely a whisper of support from the usual right wing gasbags.

But Sister Christine and Mama Grifter were mere amateurs. This, right here, is how you play the victim card.


Yesterday was especially unkind to Michele Bachmann. First, news broke that her Iowa campaign director, Kent Sorenson, had defected to Camp Ron Paul. Then, she lost another top staff member, her political director Wes Enos, who resigned after he had the nerve to publicly defend Sorenson against charges that he’d illegally accepted money from Ron Paul’s campaign.


So what did Bachmann do in response to the mudslide of bad news that’s piling up on top of her? Why, she made an objective assessment of the situation, concluded that she could not possibly win, and promptly withdrew herself from the race, of course. Gotcha! She obviously did the complete opposite of that. She’s still up to her usual game of swinging wildly at any enemy she can find, real or imagined, hoping to distract people from the fact that her candidacy is sinking to the bottom of the Presidential Ocean faster than the hull of the Titanic.


Yesterday’s enemy of choice? America’s greatest evil: the internet. While Bachmann was appearing on an Iowa radio show, a caller named Jonathan made this 1000% true statement:


Michele Bachmann is up against not only the other candidates, but up against President Obama, who has Facebook, Twitter, Google, and YouTube in its back pocket. I believe that helped him win the last election. No president should have the monopoly of those companies in their back pocket.


Actually, I’m pretty sure that Michele Bachmann’s base consists entirely of YouTube commenters, but we can get back to that in a second. First, let’s hear how she responded:


I absolutely agree, Jonathan. We have seen, whether it is the head of Facebook or Google, it is clear there is an alliance with the Obama administration, as well as with NBC.


I think we’ve all got a distant relative or high school friend whose constant posting of Tea Party propaganda on Facebook proves that social networking isn’t totally in the bag for Obama. And anyone who’s ever looked at the trending topics on Twitter knows it’s not exactly a haven for liberal elites. Yes, Obama may have relationships with the heads of Facebook and Google, but they have about as much control over the content on their sites as she does over her campaign.


Oh yes. Saint Michele, the Warrior of Wack, has the entirety of ALL media against her! The networks, the Internets, and even YouTube…. all locked in one big old giant conspiracy to fit her with a crown of thorns. With Obama pulling the strings backstage, no less!

I’m usually completely dismissive of batshit nuttiness, but the creativity of this particular line makes me chuckle a little, at least. I’m going to miss Michele when she’s finally gone. Not as much as Kelsey Grammer will, but I’ll miss her.

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